YIKES

Just reading over the entries from today and i really have to chill off the java...i sound like a stoned teen girl.

HUGE NUTS

I have big nuts and when i wear tight boxerbriefs they hurt and are never right. I am so uncomfy today...my poor nuts are all distraught and im practically just standing up..well i am..and dancing around. Fuck.

If you say it right Reality sounds like Real Titty

I'm not a huge fan of Reality Television. . .but it be fuckin colder then a sleighdogs nuts in the winter. So I watch. That sounded so Canadian hickish. Fun. I was watschin the batchelor last night and I could not believe how catty these brawds were. One girl was all up and convinced that she was in love with him and told she was a part time model..swimsuit nonetheless and then an FBI investigative agent part time too. That girls must have skills. The Batchelor then went on to say that he was using his partime batchelor skills and part time invesitgative skills to deduce that this girl was full time crazy. I thought that was all classy...and shit...u know. Maybe just me.

Anywho and sum and sumthin I'm starving and now on lunch....my late ass left my wallet at home along with whatever money my poorass had. So now my poorass will possibly starve and be destined to take on a life of prostitution and drug abuse. At least they get copious amounts of good free drugs. I think. Hmm pros versus cons. Hookers versus junkies. Who would win? Junkies for sure...they would be all twitchy and floating like butterflys because they are high and stinging like bees because they twitch all quick and stuff catching you off guard. Agree mais oui?
And lets not forget stinking like a dead rhino's asshole because they spend their money on junk and matching junkie tuques or like knitted winter hats as americans call them. Have you noticed how many junkies seem to all be wearing similar hats. I think they are in a club...like OPus Dei..or Stonemasons...color me jealous and kinda red because i just went tanning yesterday.

As a side note..or a center note because thats where this is appearing. This is my third journal. I have had a couple of others that seemed to just recount youthful events such as getting my ass banged senseless while busting rails off a dudes cock. Crazy times...gotta be a consistent type of hard on to bust rails off it ... lemme tell you. Skills yo. This diary is intended to be less smut and more mutt. I.E a mixture of me talking about what senseless shit im thinking about, or what things or lack thereof may be going on in my life. No more of this miserable sex, lies and drugs and then lie some more and have sex and then drugs. VICIOUS CYCLE. Although I still like sex and drugs, but one must learn to moderate in order to be a productive member of society. I produce. Lemme hear an AMEN. Amen. THx.

What else do i need to cover today..maybe how excited i am that i have gotten some amazing new denim and am seeking denim reatil rehad because i spend a fuckin fortune on blue jeans. Oooh i just realized that this is my outlet for letting my flame fan a bit..because people..in real life I am all reserved and deep voicey tall and assumed str8. They call that...fauxmosexual. Very good. Im tricky.

Yeah back to denim. New Sevens...they make my ass look money. New Sacred Blues....because im label whore..i hate the way they fit..but hey...sacrifices for the good of mankind. Im an humanitarian. I give to the wealthy jean manufacturers...a little misguided...but i will interpret it as humanitarian putting all those unemployed people to work is big countries full of tiny people. How much they make is none of my business...my humanitarian efforts only stretch so far.

I am only so much man.

Hows abouts the family? Sure....father businessman...no more details online. Mother works for the government...no more details online. Brother 26, very educated, total opposite although we smoke reefer together, sells steel, no more details online. No we are not italian or crooked although I love those whacky crooked italians and their cement shooze and swimmin with fishes. They are north americas japanese in the "Like a green frog dancing on serene lily pads in rose water bowls" kinda way. Following? Good. "Like a dirty rat mobster swimmin with fishes." Resemblance is uncanny. I'll have the manicotti with some Sake and a dynamite roll.

All you asian italian mobsters..PEace out..yo. Fo shizzle my crazy italian japanese nizzle..dizzle. Reading my diary sensin some ADD..i drink way too much coffee

Eh Der.

For the love of god is this place funny looking. I dont think I have ever seen so may women with receding hair lines...or male...umm female pattern baldness. Poor poor things. PLugs just dont look right on anyone. Maybe we could have fashionable chapeaus put into the workplace dresscode mix. That'd be cute? It wont make them less ugly. Just less bald.

Laughing my ass off yesterday as I walking towards the can. I drink so much water that i spend hours a day taking a leak..or leaks. I tripped. Over. A. Midget. Talking MIDGET..big letters to emphasize the small man. Dude steps up to about my knee. Hence i walked into the lil bastard and hit him in his glasses with my collossal knees. I guess it happens all the time..the lil guy just laughed and stumbled around and then sped (lose the word sped loosely) back to his desk/whatever the fuck set up he has.

Out of work finally yesterday only to be stuck behind some fellow workplacer who was driving about 10 and weaving around like the a drunk on a cell phone. Note to self: Dont drink and drive anymore on a cell phone. So not chic. Sooooo Im honking because i be wanting me a joint when i get home and I would appreciate it if this domestic car driving bastard would speed up. I take the initiative and pass his dumb drunk ass. Only to see.

It was the midget. . . Standing on the drivers seat. . . steering. . .while working hand controls. Jesus christ, you have got to be kidding me. He drives so slow he could waddle there faster. Midgets. . .I'm all against equal rights. Whatever happened to the old saying "Life is not fair". Lets bring it back people. Speaking of back.

The size of some of friends reer ends seem to be worth notice lately. I pride myself on having pretty friends..because..well...ugly people are offensive, and no fun. Cuz they are all up and concerned at how people look at them because they know they are ugly. Poor bastards. Back to my friends and their fat asses. I told them yesterday and they agree. Weed and winter are bad mojo for asses. Mine however..gorgeous. AMEN.

I've recommended a diet of cocaine and red wine. We'll see how that goes. Ill do what i can to help them out with hook ups and decent priced wine choices. Who can say i dont love my friends?

I on the other hand have been hitting the gym like a mofo and I be tired as hell and experiencing rubber arms and cement legs. I guess this is what a hooker feels like on a sunday morning after straddling all saturday night and holding herself up. HMmm sigh..that may be more fun then the gym. The ab workout I have adopted is fan (fucking) tastic though and I'm feeling good..still not buff to par...but good...umm better...trying to stay fuckin positive.

Had the date on the weekend with this schmo named Kenzie. Fascinating take off from Mackenzie eh? His parents soo made him gay. Like all Gattica stylez...only Ethan Hawke and Jude Law (even in a wheelchair) are way hotter..or more hot. Anywho the boy is cute and tall and buff...no waifs for me..but deuce and a halfs either (250 lbs)... he wore a trench coat and some weird gloves because he is all in a punk band. His shoes were funny too.. I have to overlook that, right?
YES
NO
CHANGE HIM?
Not a bad suggestion but it seems to doom most relationships when you try and change someone. The serious pluses are that he is well Bred and cultured. Im a well bred cultured snob (to a degree..i think its common sense...my friends say its snobbery) and I like the same. He is the same with worse clothes. I will help him..we are the same build. I will ease him into it. He claims to know things must improve wardrobe wise but is too busy. Where are his priorities?

Another fascinating tid bit. ..he has yet to delve into the world of Tom sluttery. Similar to Tom foolery but this guy was wayy easier. Following? Good. So he hasnt been a hoe yet. I used to think that most boys should be a drugged out tramp at least for a bit of their life. Now i disagree because I have some Reeeegrets...lemme tell you...err rather not. I suppose i should go work or read other peoples blogs as I am bored of myself. But you are handsome. Why thank-you. My pleasure. Im fucking thirsty.

Number 1

I used to be a fan of the old diaryland...it's grown old...as have I. At least I feel (fucking) old.

Life seems to have slowed down a bit. With the same disappointments minus all the drugs and booze to make them that much more tolerable.

I'm now 24, 6'3", 190 lbs, in the best shape of my life, with a fuckin sex drive like a rabbit on ludes. Not able to find what i'm looking for yet. I'm finishing up school and working like a fucking madman, driving myself into the ground with work and school and lack of sex....or sex that deems any mention beyond..thank jesus above that i finally got off.

I gotta go do some work. Ill be back when im feeling more introspective..or when i have some interest in writing. Feeling like whatever literary skills I had are gone...