If you say it right Reality sounds like Real Titty
I'm not a huge fan of Reality Television. . .but it be fuckin colder then a sleighdogs nuts in the winter. So I watch. That sounded so Canadian hickish. Fun. I was watschin the batchelor last night and I could not believe how catty these brawds were. One girl was all up and convinced that she was in love with him and told she was a part time model..swimsuit nonetheless and then an FBI investigative agent part time too. That girls must have skills. The Batchelor then went on to say that he was using his partime batchelor skills and part time invesitgative skills to deduce that this girl was full time crazy. I thought that was all classy...and shit...u know. Maybe just me.
Anywho and sum and sumthin I'm starving and now on lunch....my late ass left my wallet at home along with whatever money my poorass had. So now my poorass will possibly starve and be destined to take on a life of prostitution and drug abuse. At least they get copious amounts of good free drugs. I think. Hmm pros versus cons. Hookers versus junkies. Who would win? Junkies for sure...they would be all twitchy and floating like butterflys because they are high and stinging like bees because they twitch all quick and stuff catching you off guard. Agree mais oui?
And lets not forget stinking like a dead rhino's asshole because they spend their money on junk and matching junkie tuques or like knitted winter hats as americans call them. Have you noticed how many junkies seem to all be wearing similar hats. I think they are in a club...like OPus Dei..or Stonemasons...color me jealous and kinda red because i just went tanning yesterday.
As a side note..or a center note because thats where this is appearing. This is my third journal. I have had a couple of others that seemed to just recount youthful events such as getting my ass banged senseless while busting rails off a dudes cock. Crazy times...gotta be a consistent type of hard on to bust rails off it ... lemme tell you. Skills yo. This diary is intended to be less smut and more mutt. I.E a mixture of me talking about what senseless shit im thinking about, or what things or lack thereof may be going on in my life. No more of this miserable sex, lies and drugs and then lie some more and have sex and then drugs. VICIOUS CYCLE. Although I still like sex and drugs, but one must learn to moderate in order to be a productive member of society. I produce. Lemme hear an AMEN. Amen. THx.
What else do i need to cover today..maybe how excited i am that i have gotten some amazing new denim and am seeking denim reatil rehad because i spend a fuckin fortune on blue jeans. Oooh i just realized that this is my outlet for letting my flame fan a bit..because people..in real life I am all reserved and deep voicey tall and assumed str8. They call that...fauxmosexual. Very good. Im tricky.
Yeah back to denim. New Sevens...they make my ass look money. New Sacred Blues....because im label whore..i hate the way they fit..but hey...sacrifices for the good of mankind. Im an humanitarian. I give to the wealthy jean manufacturers...a little misguided...but i will interpret it as humanitarian putting all those unemployed people to work is big countries full of tiny people. How much they make is none of my business...my humanitarian efforts only stretch so far.
I am only so much man.
Hows abouts the family? Sure....father businessman...no more details online. Mother works for the government...no more details online. Brother 26, very educated, total opposite although we smoke reefer together, sells steel, no more details online. No we are not italian or crooked although I love those whacky crooked italians and their cement shooze and swimmin with fishes. They are north americas japanese in the "Like a green frog dancing on serene lily pads in rose water bowls" kinda way. Following? Good. "Like a dirty rat mobster swimmin with fishes." Resemblance is uncanny. I'll have the manicotti with some Sake and a dynamite roll.
All you asian italian mobsters..PEace out..yo. Fo shizzle my crazy italian japanese nizzle..dizzle. Reading my diary sensin some ADD..i drink way too much coffee
Anywho and sum and sumthin I'm starving and now on lunch....my late ass left my wallet at home along with whatever money my poorass had. So now my poorass will possibly starve and be destined to take on a life of prostitution and drug abuse. At least they get copious amounts of good free drugs. I think. Hmm pros versus cons. Hookers versus junkies. Who would win? Junkies for sure...they would be all twitchy and floating like butterflys because they are high and stinging like bees because they twitch all quick and stuff catching you off guard. Agree mais oui?
And lets not forget stinking like a dead rhino's asshole because they spend their money on junk and matching junkie tuques or like knitted winter hats as americans call them. Have you noticed how many junkies seem to all be wearing similar hats. I think they are in a club...like OPus Dei..or Stonemasons...color me jealous and kinda red because i just went tanning yesterday.
As a side note..or a center note because thats where this is appearing. This is my third journal. I have had a couple of others that seemed to just recount youthful events such as getting my ass banged senseless while busting rails off a dudes cock. Crazy times...gotta be a consistent type of hard on to bust rails off it ... lemme tell you. Skills yo. This diary is intended to be less smut and more mutt. I.E a mixture of me talking about what senseless shit im thinking about, or what things or lack thereof may be going on in my life. No more of this miserable sex, lies and drugs and then lie some more and have sex and then drugs. VICIOUS CYCLE. Although I still like sex and drugs, but one must learn to moderate in order to be a productive member of society. I produce. Lemme hear an AMEN. Amen. THx.
What else do i need to cover today..maybe how excited i am that i have gotten some amazing new denim and am seeking denim reatil rehad because i spend a fuckin fortune on blue jeans. Oooh i just realized that this is my outlet for letting my flame fan a bit..because people..in real life I am all reserved and deep voicey tall and assumed str8. They call that...fauxmosexual. Very good. Im tricky.
Yeah back to denim. New Sevens...they make my ass look money. New Sacred Blues....because im label whore..i hate the way they fit..but hey...sacrifices for the good of mankind. Im an humanitarian. I give to the wealthy jean manufacturers...a little misguided...but i will interpret it as humanitarian putting all those unemployed people to work is big countries full of tiny people. How much they make is none of my business...my humanitarian efforts only stretch so far.
I am only so much man.
Hows abouts the family? Sure....father businessman...no more details online. Mother works for the government...no more details online. Brother 26, very educated, total opposite although we smoke reefer together, sells steel, no more details online. No we are not italian or crooked although I love those whacky crooked italians and their cement shooze and swimmin with fishes. They are north americas japanese in the "Like a green frog dancing on serene lily pads in rose water bowls" kinda way. Following? Good. "Like a dirty rat mobster swimmin with fishes." Resemblance is uncanny. I'll have the manicotti with some Sake and a dynamite roll.
All you asian italian mobsters..PEace out..yo. Fo shizzle my crazy italian japanese nizzle..dizzle. Reading my diary sensin some ADD..i drink way too much coffee
posted by Fauxmosexual at 2:04 PM
1 Comments:
Opus Dei. Hilarious.
Another great post. You and I are very much alike in our writing. But I did pick up on this nice oxymoron:
"in real life I am all reserved and deep voicey tall and assumed str8"
and
"Sevens...they make my ass look money. New Sacred Blues....because im label whore"
Two statements that I never thought I'd read together in the same post. heh heh
Post a Comment
<< Home