Claire Voyant
Sigh... I have decided to be grumpy today and maybe fix my attention on this gorgeous guy I see at school all the time and we make eye contact and stare and in my caffeine induced hysteria I end up looking away and then he is gone...instantly. It happens all the bloody time and its like i am in a bad movie with him. Ill be talking to someone else while staring at him barely interested in what im saying and then he is gone. Where does he go? Where do they hide?
I was reading an entry of a fellow blogger and read that they had gone to have their palms read/tea leaves/ cards...they all fall in the same boat. Having my palms read best fall right into the right place right time theory or else they may be covered in ummm lonely juice. Im confident that if i was to go get some mumbo jumbo done that I would be told I will be alone forever and should stop obsessing over my appearance. I was fat like 7 yrs ago so I will never stop obsessing and certainly I dont want to be told what I already know, I will be alone forever. Funn. Maybe Im a clairvoyant. If i was a tranny hoe I would be called Claire Voyant. I like it lots and think Im real smart now. Real. Smart. Like. I added the like to sound more like a hick. More. Hick. Like. U read? Amen.
On the boy front I think things are relatively quiet but then again I always seem to forget the odd rendez vous...obviously they didnt have a major presence that required remembering. I am finding however that my "bear" hookup that I have almost every week seems to be my favorite except when he talks. He talks dirty which is well done in the heat of the moment but stammers like a retard after he gets off...which turns me off. He has a husband and I would never date him but his hairy beefy body gets me goin and he takes control. Why do people assume because im a giant that i want to be in control? So wrong. Im not slave boy material but i like a lil dominance in both parties...where is the line. I dont want to give instructions..i want them just TO KNOW like big dumb guy always does.
Im having a hard time getting turned on by younger twink guys or even younger masculine guys. What is happening to me? Am I goin to be that guy that digs older guys who treat me like shit during sex but worship me any other time. I have two boys that worship me now and are BEAUTIFUL inside and out but I dont think they fit my type anymore...so i am mean to them and break dates like a complete fucking asshole. I think im projecting. I am pretty sure I want to be treated like shit. Thats fucked up. What deeper issues do I have and should i start seeing my shrink again??? Why must i not know what I want and therefore get nothing? Mother of christ help me out or if you cant, can i get a referral?
I was reading an entry of a fellow blogger and read that they had gone to have their palms read/tea leaves/ cards...they all fall in the same boat. Having my palms read best fall right into the right place right time theory or else they may be covered in ummm lonely juice. Im confident that if i was to go get some mumbo jumbo done that I would be told I will be alone forever and should stop obsessing over my appearance. I was fat like 7 yrs ago so I will never stop obsessing and certainly I dont want to be told what I already know, I will be alone forever. Funn. Maybe Im a clairvoyant. If i was a tranny hoe I would be called Claire Voyant. I like it lots and think Im real smart now. Real. Smart. Like. I added the like to sound more like a hick. More. Hick. Like. U read? Amen.
On the boy front I think things are relatively quiet but then again I always seem to forget the odd rendez vous...obviously they didnt have a major presence that required remembering. I am finding however that my "bear" hookup that I have almost every week seems to be my favorite except when he talks. He talks dirty which is well done in the heat of the moment but stammers like a retard after he gets off...which turns me off. He has a husband and I would never date him but his hairy beefy body gets me goin and he takes control. Why do people assume because im a giant that i want to be in control? So wrong. Im not slave boy material but i like a lil dominance in both parties...where is the line. I dont want to give instructions..i want them just TO KNOW like big dumb guy always does.
Im having a hard time getting turned on by younger twink guys or even younger masculine guys. What is happening to me? Am I goin to be that guy that digs older guys who treat me like shit during sex but worship me any other time. I have two boys that worship me now and are BEAUTIFUL inside and out but I dont think they fit my type anymore...so i am mean to them and break dates like a complete fucking asshole. I think im projecting. I am pretty sure I want to be treated like shit. Thats fucked up. What deeper issues do I have and should i start seeing my shrink again??? Why must i not know what I want and therefore get nothing? Mother of christ help me out or if you cant, can i get a referral?
posted by Fauxmosexual at 3:27 PM
1 Comments:
Go with what feels good for you. Don't worry weather someone is or isn't your type, if your into him and the thoughts are beyond sexual, that's a start!!
That Bear sounds icky (of course I am not a fan of Bears, or Muscular/Beefy guys for that matter.. Hairy guys HELL YEA, but Big Bears, complete turnoff).
I like your writing style and attitude a lot, Great blog :)
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