Manifest destiny...I like to think I have a lil control
Okay so here is how it went down...you are going to think I'm an idiot but I really wanted to go out and have sex last night and wasnt sure if i should or not. Its been forever and I didnt want to fuck things up with B.
I log onto MSN to look around and see who is on..I.E pick who I want to fuck me for the night and then go on with that, move forth..yadda yadda yadda
B is online and our conversation goes as follows...this is from memory so cut me some slack if i fuck up and recount the tale to you later, albeit more precisely.
B: Hey Handsome
ME: Hey Kid
B: Whats up?
ME: Not much, I thought you were going out?? Home already??
B: What would make you think I was going out?
ME: You told me, quit being difficult
B: LOL difficult eh? You' re projecting again
ME: Oh yeah? Thanks for filling me in. So you want me to pursue you or what?
B: Pursue?
B: Pardon?
B: Isnt that up to you big guy?
ME: I'm not interested in an exercise in futility.
B: It may be futile I dont know, I am such a mess of baggage right now
ME: You think that makes you unique?
B: I just dont want you to fall in love with me and become obsessed and Ill have to break your heart.
ME: LOL you're kidding me right? No doubt there exists an initial puppy love or lust but dont get ahead or yourself
B: Im just looking out for you
ME: Kiddo I can see your baggage and raise it 10x , I dont need to be protected but I do want us both to tell eachother when we arent interested.
B: You are telling me that you arent interested right now? On msn??
ME: No, but I am saying I am going to keep you informed and I want the same. So if you are letting me pursue you and like it, pursue back instead of being aloof.
B: Im so all over the map, I should tell you now that I am not a good person to date.
ME: You're cryptic and I like it, I dont want to know everything about you asap
B: LOL Thx A (ME)
ME: OK, have a good night
B: Thx A (ME)...**wink emoticon**
Jesus I wonder if that went well or not, I am so unsure. I think it did because if it hadnt he would have told me not to pursue him further at all. He didnt and seems interested although conflicted that he is going to hurt me. I am starting to think that i dont mind being hurt at least a little. Some of the best relationships I've had were the best times of my life and as a result have made me what I am today..or at least more cognizant of what I am becoming. These relationships resulted in us both being hurt to such a degree that I thought I wouldnt recover. I did recover though and turned out even better.
He talks about baggage. Im not so sure how i feel about that term. Such is life. There is no baggage there are just "growing pains". One should learn from baggage, or at least I do. Shying away from people because you have baggage is ridiculous, what you have is life experience. Whats the hottest thing a guy can have??? Life experience! Its true that at times it can be difficult to move past the unfortunate moments in our lives. Life is never easy. Life is also too short to waste time regailing past emotional atrocities over and over...or to inhibit yourself as a result of those atrocities.
Also recognizing that one may just in fact be the right guy at the right place at the right time. It may not initially seem like its the right place or time but trust me it can shift. I have dated guys on the rebound and they have done just that, helped me to rebound. Some may say this is manifest destiny but I wholeheartedly object. I didnt date them for the purpose of getting over my ex, i dated them with no expectations and perhaps it was just old plain old destiny. They were there at the right time and served their purpose and all went well. Maybe one of the guys I will meet on the "rebound" will be my next bf, maybe he will just be a good friend that is there at the right place and right time.
Talk about fuckin cryptic, I can barely understand myself. What I'm saying is...life is too bloody short to waste time letting your "baggage" weigh you down.
I log onto MSN to look around and see who is on..I.E pick who I want to fuck me for the night and then go on with that, move forth..yadda yadda yadda
B is online and our conversation goes as follows...this is from memory so cut me some slack if i fuck up and recount the tale to you later, albeit more precisely.
B: Hey Handsome
ME: Hey Kid
B: Whats up?
ME: Not much, I thought you were going out?? Home already??
B: What would make you think I was going out?
ME: You told me, quit being difficult
B: LOL difficult eh? You' re projecting again
ME: Oh yeah? Thanks for filling me in. So you want me to pursue you or what?
B: Pursue?
B: Pardon?
B: Isnt that up to you big guy?
ME: I'm not interested in an exercise in futility.
B: It may be futile I dont know, I am such a mess of baggage right now
ME: You think that makes you unique?
B: I just dont want you to fall in love with me and become obsessed and Ill have to break your heart.
ME: LOL you're kidding me right? No doubt there exists an initial puppy love or lust but dont get ahead or yourself
B: Im just looking out for you
ME: Kiddo I can see your baggage and raise it 10x , I dont need to be protected but I do want us both to tell eachother when we arent interested.
B: You are telling me that you arent interested right now? On msn??
ME: No, but I am saying I am going to keep you informed and I want the same. So if you are letting me pursue you and like it, pursue back instead of being aloof.
B: Im so all over the map, I should tell you now that I am not a good person to date.
ME: You're cryptic and I like it, I dont want to know everything about you asap
B: LOL Thx A (ME)
ME: OK, have a good night
B: Thx A (ME)...**wink emoticon**
Jesus I wonder if that went well or not, I am so unsure. I think it did because if it hadnt he would have told me not to pursue him further at all. He didnt and seems interested although conflicted that he is going to hurt me. I am starting to think that i dont mind being hurt at least a little. Some of the best relationships I've had were the best times of my life and as a result have made me what I am today..or at least more cognizant of what I am becoming. These relationships resulted in us both being hurt to such a degree that I thought I wouldnt recover. I did recover though and turned out even better.
He talks about baggage. Im not so sure how i feel about that term. Such is life. There is no baggage there are just "growing pains". One should learn from baggage, or at least I do. Shying away from people because you have baggage is ridiculous, what you have is life experience. Whats the hottest thing a guy can have??? Life experience! Its true that at times it can be difficult to move past the unfortunate moments in our lives. Life is never easy. Life is also too short to waste time regailing past emotional atrocities over and over...or to inhibit yourself as a result of those atrocities.
Also recognizing that one may just in fact be the right guy at the right place at the right time. It may not initially seem like its the right place or time but trust me it can shift. I have dated guys on the rebound and they have done just that, helped me to rebound. Some may say this is manifest destiny but I wholeheartedly object. I didnt date them for the purpose of getting over my ex, i dated them with no expectations and perhaps it was just old plain old destiny. They were there at the right time and served their purpose and all went well. Maybe one of the guys I will meet on the "rebound" will be my next bf, maybe he will just be a good friend that is there at the right place and right time.
Talk about fuckin cryptic, I can barely understand myself. What I'm saying is...life is too bloody short to waste time letting your "baggage" weigh you down.
posted by Fauxmosexual at 11:53 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home